Attack of the Flying Mustaches
by Jet556
Summary: When an ex-McFist industry employee brings causes every mustache in Norrisville to come to life and fly off the faces of their owners, it is up to the Ninja to stop him. In a subplot, Niall Warburton learns that there is more to the girl he has fallen in love with than he can possibly imagine.
1. Just an Ordinary Day

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**Just an Ordinary Day**

For the most part it was just an ordinary day. Except for Niall's eyes being wide from a sleepless night because of his parents yelling at each other in their bedroom only to turn into "touching" after a half hour.

_If I end up as an older brother, I'll kiss Flute Girl full on the mouth._

It was a good thing Niall had thought in his head instead of out loud because Flute Girl was right next to him in math class, which he currently was in. The whole argument between Cerdic and Ulrica had been because Cerdic wanted to be the one wielding the power in the household, something that Ulrica had always done to the point of Cerdic having no authority over his own children.

As a very terrified Robert had said to an equally terrified Niall "Before she lets loose one drop of power she will kill all four of us!" There was no bullying from Robert this time. Both sons feared their mother she was like having the Charles Manson of the Mafia as a mother!

Another thing on Niall's mind was that mystery girl he had seen the other day. He had asked Ken to help him find her, since Ken had a spare at the moment he had gone to look around.

Soon enough Ken was knocking at the door. Monsieur Tham, the math teacher, stood up and walked over to the door. He had a French title, a Spanish accent and bore a resemblance to Alfred the Great.

"What do you want?" asked M. Tham.

"I want to speak to Niall." Replied Ken.

"There is no student in this class by that name!" roared M. Tham.

"Actually there, M. Tham." Stated Flute Girl.

M. Tham turned around and looked at the attendance, which he always held. "Oh, so there is. Which of you is?" He looked at Flute Girl. "Are you Niall?"

"No, he is." She pointed at Niall.

Niall wasn't a new student and M. Tham was not a new teacher. How could one explain this?

"Ah, yes, Niall, you are dismissed." M. Tham started to walk to his desk only to stop and point at Niall. "And get me on a coffee before you come back in!"


	2. Isidoro Toomes

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**Isidoro Toomes**

Isidoro Toomes was an ex-employee of McFist industries. Before the Robo-Apes came into play, people worked for McFist industries. He hadn't been too happy but others were since work could get dangerous and preferred to sell whatever was made in the factory.

He had sworn revenge on Hannibal McFist and Willem Viceroy III, them and the former's mustache because the very sight of the Robo-Apes had caused Toomes' own mustache to fall out.

So it was that very fine day, as McFist and Viceroy walked towards the entrance of McFist Industries Isidoro Toomes appeared waiting for them at the door. He was holding some sort of device with two switches on it. Neither McFist nor Viceroy were thrilled to see him.

"What are you doing here, Toomes?" asked McFist. "YOU WERE FIRED!"

"Oh, I came for something very specific." Stated Toomes, his voice very gruff. "My revenge!" And with that Toomes switched a switch!

All of a sudden every mustache one every man in Norrisville came off their face and flew into the sky. McFist looked very odd with no mustache to say the least. With every mustache in the sky, flapping its wings, there was a feeling of terror in the heart of every citizen in Norrisville… That or complete and utter confusion at seeing such a sight.

"What the juice did you just do? Oh, and could you use that machine to put one of those mustaches on my face?" asked Viceroy, doubly.

"I want $6,000,000 dollars!" roared Toomes. "And no, Viceroy, I can't put a mustache on your face. If I had do you think I'd still be mustacheless?"

Viceroy nodded understandingly. If Toomes could have done that he would have.

"You will get no money, you buzzard faced cretin!" McFist failed as a diplomat. It was that sentence from him that caused Toomes to send the thousands of mustaches chasing him and Viceroy into McFist industries.

All throughout the factory did the mustaches chase them! Chasing people, destroying robo-apes, which really begs the question of how that was even possible… And finally they had chased the two into McFist's office. Turning to Viceroy, McFist said the following as the mustaches did the obvious.

"Viceroy! Help! The Mustaches! Their trying to get in my office!"


	3. Is this out of the usual for Norrisville

**Welcome back everyone. I can't help but notice that Niall has ended up becoming a lot more popular with Ken, especially when things are focusing on things like Niall being the born loser when it came to Theresa since she likes Randy or when things involve Niall's family. Of course it seems that with the family bit and the Theresa romance having run their course Niall might not be as popular as he once was. Enjoy and review.**

**Is this out of the usual for Norrisville?**

"Get him a coffee!" exclaimed Niall, not being able to comprehend just how a jerk like M. Tham could have possibly gotten a job working in a school. "Is he a teacher or some corporate coffee glugging… guy?"

Walking down through the hallways, Ken put a hand on the shoulder of Niall. "Just forget about him, he'll probably forget about you… Oh, and just so I don't get sidetracked I'll get this out now. I think there might be a Goatman in Norrisville."

"Well, just don't try to sacrifice anyone to it." Niall was still frightened of apes, which was why he couldn't be on the fieldtrip to McFist industries he didn't want to end up scared of goats!

"Don't worry, I'm too scared to." Ken shuddered at the very thought of there actually being a Goatman in Norrisville. "Kentucky, Maryland, Texas… Boy, I hope I'm wrong about there being a Goatman in Norrisville the world has enough of those woods haunting, dog killing, teenager harassing, man decapitating monsters in the world!" Ken took off her his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "There has been some reports of things of that sort showing up in Canada… I'm from Canada… Leeville, Ontario… People said there was a Goatman in Leeville and I was foolish enough to after it. Anyway, that girl you described to me? Names Atali Ymirsodttir, age twenty-one-"

"You mean I'm in love with a college girl?" asked Niall.

"Who died in 1932, Niall. You are in love with a ghost." Ken put his other hand on the other shoulder of the very shocked Niall. "According to various articles she was chased by some big white thing with red eyes and while running away from it she fell into a ditch and died."

"'Big white thing?' Ken, I never thought you'd be a boomerang bigot."

"Not the complexion, Niall." Just then some flying mustaches flew past Ken and Niall. Both stopped dead in their tracks and turned to look at what they had just seen. "Niall… I'm from Leeville, Ontario, and these things don't really happen on a daily basis, more of a monthly basis, so is this out of the usual for Norrisville?"

Niall opened his mouth but he couldn't get any words out. He was no different than when he tried to talk to Theresa at the moment.


	4. Ninja Time

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**Ninja Time**

Needless to say, a bunch of mustaches flying around was hardly something anyone could miss no matter what part of Norrisville they were in. Naturally, it was noticeable at Norrisville High where there was a certain Mustache Society so those with mustaches ended up with them off their faces and flying around. To Randy and Howard, and indeed everyone else, this qualified as highly unusual.

"Flying mustaches! What the juice?" Randy looked around in complete shock as mustaches flew around causing chaos by merely being off the face of their owners.

"Well, this obviously isn't the work of McFist or the Sorcerer." Commented Howard. He was right. This was too strange for either of them.

"Looks like it's Ninja time!" Randy jumped behind Howard and soon enough the Ninja appeared and got to work. "Howard, get to safety and get to work! It's you're choice!"

"Oh, I'm definitely getting to work! I hate the taste of mustaches and now it's vengeance time!" Howard ran past the Ninja. "Heading to the barber club, I'll get some others to help!"

"Yes, do that! Get the cavalry!" And with that the Ninja proceeded to jump into a flock of mustaches. Did that sound odd? That's because it is.

As Howard ran to the barber club, he came across Ken and Niall. Both were looked very astonished at what they saw.

"Ken! Niall! To the barber club!" Immediately, Niall followed Howard. Upon realizing that Ken wasn't following him they came to the conclusion that he was petrified with astonishment! So they ran back and proceeded to carry him, Niall at the back and Howard at the front. "We'll come back for any others like him later! First we get to the barber club, then we help the Ninja in this fight!"

"H-H-Help t-t-the Ninja?" asked Niall. "I-I-Isn't h-h-he all over this?"

"When have you ever heard of the Ninja fighting flying mustaches?"

"N-N-Not ever."

"Exactly! Barbers are needed to beat flying mustaches so we need razors and scissors! To the barber club!"

That was some sound logic. Go to barbers to beat flying mustaches!


	5. McFist Industries

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**McFist Industries**

The Ninja fought the mustaches until he saw quite a few exiting the school. Now what reason did they have to leave? They didn't need to eat even if the food in the cafeteria was only so-so.

Following them, the Ninja ended up at McFist Industries! While millions of mustaches attacked the factory, a buzzard faced cretin laughed while holding some sort of machine. Smoke bombing on down, the cretin looked at the Ninja.

"Ah, Ninja, welcome." The cretin nodded his head at the Ninja. "Isidoro Toomes at your service."

"Alright then, Mr. Toomes." The Ninja looked at the mustaches. "Can you put the mustaches back on faces?"

"No can do." Toomes looked at the factory again. "I need revenge for being replaced by robo-apes."

"But dangerous in there can get dangerous."

"Revenge."

"Yeah but—"

"Revenge!"

The Ninja walked three feet away from Toomes. This guy was clearly Sorcerer's pit bent for revenge. But with mustaches? What kind of whacko made an attack with mustaches? Who was this Toomes guy? A crazy ex-employee of McFist industries? That was what the Ninja was getting. What else could Toomes be?

Sighing, the Ninja walked back over to Toomes. "Okay look, I'm the Ninja, I stop chaos, you're causing chaos so I have to stop you." Toomes didn't even turn to look at the Ninja. "Didn't you hear me?"

"Course I did, I just chose to ignore you."

Ignore the Ninja? Ignore him? How did someone do that?

Drawing his sword, the Ninja pointed his weapon at the cretin. "Back down and quit attacking the city.

"Hmm, no thanks." And with that, Toomes turned all the mustaches on the Ninja.


	6. Barricaded

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**Barricaded**

As it had turned out, the students had been outnumbered by flying mustaches and had thus been forced to barricade themselves into a classroom. As Howard and Niall leaned against the wall, Niall looked over at Theresa and gave a sigh that was not a little sad.

"What's with you?" asked Howard.

"Theresa…"

"What about her?" Niall didn't answer. It didn't take long for Howard to put the pieces together. "You 'like' her?"

"Did."

"'Did?' What happened?"

"Randy."

Howard gave a chuckle. "Oh yeah, I remember that day from the Monster Klub." Niall raised an eyebrow. What was Howard talking about?

"And now I 'like' a ghost."

That bit caused Howard to look at Niall with unimpressed eyes. "You and your… Wait, what are your hobbies? Do you like games, comic books, movies, what? I don't know that much about you besides what everyone else does!"

Niall shrugged. "I like to read."

Howard sighed. "Read what?"

"Aiskhylos, Sophocles, Euripides, etc."

Rolling his eyes, Howard walked away. No wonder he and Randy never hung out with Niall, he was boring. Of course, that was Howard's opinion. Ancient Greek theatre wasn't for everyone but Niall enjoyed it.

Besides the works of Aiskhylos, Sophocles and Euripides also enjoyed the works of Anthony and Gilliam, Barron, Crossley-Holland, Dante, Ellis, Gemmell, Greene and many more. He was what some people would call a bookworm, although he had yet to begun reading in public. Step by step, he'd become to society and that was the truth.


	7. Toomes' Defeat

**Welcome back everyone. Sorry about the short length but this story is better suited for a one-shot. Enjoy and review.**

**Toomes' Defeat**

Being pursued by mustaches was not the best moment in the Ninja's career. For Randy this might have been his mot embarrassing yet but that might have been up for debate. Between him and Howard mostly because a conversation with the Nomicon would be greatly one sided some times.

Turning to look at Toomes, who just kept fiddling away with that device of his, an idea came to the Ninja. Toomes' device! That was it!

Down he jumped to Toomes and took his device. Needless to say, Toomes wasn't thrilled.

"Hey, give that back you pajama wearing freakazoid!"

Within a few moments, the Ninja had turned the mustaches on Toomes. Predictably, Toomes ended up running away. The Ninja then put the mustaches back on the faces they belonged on, even McFist's.


	8. Aftermath

**Welcome back everyone. Better end this story quickly so I can focus on "Niall Warburton and the Conundrum of the Mummy" more. Enjoy and review.**

**Aftermath**

"No way! Niall has a crush on a ghost?" Randy sat in the cafeteria with Howard, Ken and Niall. This day just couldn't get any weirder. First an attack from flying mustaches and now this!

"S-S-Say it a-a-a bit louder." Niall didn't look up from his lunch. "I-I-I don't think Theresa heard you."

"I heard." Theresa took a seat at the table and looked at Niall. Randy, Howard and her were all on the opposite side of the table Niall and Ken were on. As soon as Niall saw Theresa he ended up hiding his face in his cap. "So who is this ghost?

"Atali Ymirsodttir." Stated Ken. He placed a hand on Niall's shoulder. "Died at the age of twenty-one in the year 1932."

"Twenty-one?" Howard raised an eyebrow. "That's young, what happened she, uh, take the plunge if you know what I mean?"

Sighing, Randy hung his head. "Howard, my family's salt shaker at home knows what you mean! I'm sure Atali didn't do that." Randy then looked at Ken. "She didn't, did she? Ghosts like that can be hard to put to rest!"

Shaking his head, Ken took his hand off of Niall's shoulder. "No, she was apparently chased by a creature described as being big, white and red eyed. She fell down a ditch and died."

There was an awkward moment of silence. Randy, Howard and Theresa just stared.

"What?" Randy couldn't believe what he had just heard. He had never encountered a monster like that. No one had ever been stanked and ended up looking like that!

"Never heard of anything like that." Howard took some of Niall's French fries and tossed them in his mouth.

"You sure she's from Norrisville?" asked Theresa.

"Would a Niall have seen the ghost of a girl that was not from Norrisville in Norrisville?" asked Ken in response. That was some logic.

Theresa just smiled. She looked at Niall and then looked at a girl sitting alone at the far end of the cafeteria. It was time for her to play matchmaker!

**The End**


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